Thursday, January 29, 2009

Gardenia open

We have always insisted in the distant transmission distance in each other by text message. I still take the trouble of telling her own dream, the status quo. She did not give me a regular letter. Most are opposed to my suggestion and encouragement. Also talked about his understatement. She said that the life of helplessness and confusion, hardship and bitter.
I often sadness in her letter under the illusion that the state of small thin woman, in the stars is about to subduction of the early morning, walking on uneven fields Terrier. Late at night in the shack under the yellow lights and lesson preparation. To his family and to serve as the responsibility does not belong to the working class, running in the road on their own longing. Which all have only one person she. No one to accompany.
When I learned that his own university at the moment, emotion and excitement with her phone.pleased she laughed, but he did not conceal the living envy the outpouring of grief, as well as after the success. I know her heart is the pain.
Before college, she see me. She is not prepared an exquisite pen in my hand.
 She told me faint smile, I am well pleased with her heart surging emotions and sad. I kept encouraging her, we still have a lot of time to change the future. She seriously thought, nodded.
We were embraced, tears fall unconscious. I know that our meeting will be less and less with the growth. Afraid of each other’s emotions like the wind and the wind blowing the place, and traces of sound.
Before I go to university one day shortly after the accident, received a letter from her. She says she has been married because of pregnancy.
Are doing all the preparations before delivery. Husband is doing the business of Internet cafes, previously recognized. I was this sudden shock of fear that the voice of the unable. That in the windy afternoon, alone along a mountain path school. I am reminded of that in the Women’s Handbag we are talking about the future all kinds, like tree leaves flickered, accidentally on the disappeared in the endless corners.
I am with all the resentment and disappointment to her letter. Blame forget what she had promised the original intention and my commitment. After that I no longer with Tang communications. Even when I grew up gradually and clearly understand that each person has the right to interfere in other people’s lives. The choice of a sudden she let me clear the broken feel pain and there’s incomplete scar.
The only change is that she is still a letter from time to time. Weak gentle tone, there is no explanation and complaints. More is revealed on the expectations of their children and love. In her baby after birth, she told me to take the children called .She said it was a lovely child, is frustrated in their own comfort.
I saw the photograph and her baby as delicate and pretty. Round eyes and nose tatami with a gardenia-like clear smile.
The summer of 2003 I came home, there is a very long period of time idle. In the monotonous days, once again reminded of her face.
I traveled to her town, to inquire into her home, standing at the door when they did not dare knock on the door hand. Feel tense and agitated.
Long time no longer meet the days to come, no one knows that we like each other’s.
Until the moment she opened the door, we all stay in that moment. I saw the meager remains the same, more tired and many vicissitudes. I told her, smiling, gently call her name. She stood at the door, body trembling slightly, eyes constantly blinking crystal tears.
Narrow room and humid out from the land of cool air. I sat quietly, looking at her confused looks at a loss to see her joy and surprise face overflow.
I have been with more time in her side. Look at this woman is already familiar with the leisurely life of doing everything.
Cooking. The rationale for food. Laundry. She kept talking to Womens Handbag, occasionally been submerged by the water.
She said that we did together a long time that they have not been so happy.
We sleep together at night. And 16-year-old the same summer. Cicada’s voice makes a more quiet night, the moonlight dismal sprinkle in the window, thin air with the scent of fields of plants filled the house through the window screens in every corner. I smell their fragrance.
We flat-lying quiet. No one to speak.
She reached over, shook my finger. Gently called my name.
Also hate me?
I smiled, shook his head.
Whirling her hands on my back of the hand. To me on the experience and the past.
She said that he is married so early the wife, the mother of human infertility. Everything is so hurried chaos. Too young to realize their desire to think, and then follow their own logic to imagine romantic story, but slowly come to understand everything they can not grasp and decisions. Only can do is to respect and to grasp now.
Her voice does not calm down.
Once all the resentment and disappointment in that night into a deep guilt. I do not have to find more words to comfort the hearts of Ping Tang, when we began to understand that beautiful vision in the face of the harsh reality is pale and fragile time, and encourage and comfort has also been not the best answer. As we change from a simple girl mature woman barren time, slowly learned how to withstand time and change the fate of each other, and no complaints.
My tears flow down. I know that she is all about.                   I teach her to leave school. In the summary window to see her photo, above record her outstanding performance and awarded the title. I stand behind the windows of the classroom, through the glass to see her hand holding a book single-handedly holding chalk,To a group of kids dressed in plain dedicated class. She looked soft and his face seemed to hint of a smile, let me back to the 16-year-old that summer. Like to see outside the window was open gorgeous gardenia. Indian carved in the bottom of my heart for many years, is still overflowing fragrant, pure and beautiful.
Posted by hao at 10:58:17 | Permalink | Comments Off

Stubborn insistence to wait for true love

First Love boyfriend played “disappeared”, she is already well-loved husband, love her always, “do not” … … 36-year-old Lin Yuan fight on despite repeated setbacks, the super patiently waiting for their own that love. She told me that the future is not necessarily living in Shanghai, a place where love is a place to live all their lives.
This is a touching story of listening.
About love, the search for true love on a near-stubborn insistence.
The phone, listening to Lin Yuan issued clear free and easy laugh, I would like to have a long chat with her desire: What is to allow 36-year-old when she was blundering world can so doggedly insist on a love the attitude steady.
An appointment to meet in handmade jewelry, Yuan bloom for me a very straightforward and even somewhat childish smile, his eyes followed the mercilessly blooming, it looks a bit distressed.
36-year-old Yuan own poor conditions really do not use the words of a popular saying is a typical status (white-collar + backbone + elites). In a magazine featuring the property market positions, income sufficient to nourish her white-collar life. Weekdays watching drama, plant flowers and cats, but also burnt cook. Although appearance is not “beauty first,” but very. Life, many people do not believe she is still single because she does not meet the traditional concept of older women “hardship” any one of the conditions. This is also her most distressed areas.
Yuan around there is no lack of enthusiasm, and for her friends to always keen to stress “occupation, income, family” and other hardware indicators, and she thought that: a marriage most solid hardware Is not love?
Yuan has a classic saying: live life,to the feelings of their own grievances, in order to get married and get married the end of an era!
Yuan smiled and told me: “In the course of growth, but the situation is very Shun Road, bumpy, and I am just the kind of fight on despite repeated setbacks-based.” Universities so that a first love-yuan, then In fact, the elective courses are in the “optional” to him and when she likes the boys in a ball to her explanation, the kind of joy made her tremble life.
Go the fastest time is always the most beautiful. Graduation just around the corner, had countless times in her ear promised lifetime promise
boyfriend chose to go abroad. Not all feelings can sustain the test of time and space, heated romance change in the years to come gradually dimmed. Her boyfriend’s letter less and less, and finally played simply “disappeared.” Until one day, First Love Letter From Primitive Creatures other students asked her a message: “does not dare to face fashion jewelry, I have a new feeling, forget me.”
At that time, the yuan, despite its sympathy, only themselves to blame , she work as an anesthetic. Almost crazy to work so that she might soon be in the same age who come to the fore, and she is emotionally a long time “to ease, however strong.”
Until, after three years when a business trip and encounter Wei. Hangzhou Wei is a magazine department heads, Toshiro mature, was very much welcome the kind of girl. Yuan has touched their hearts so that is the profile-wei boyfriend very first love. Several food, Wei-yuan are sitting around, intentionally or unintentionally. The field of energy to peer, Wei has all to do their. Towards the end of the meeting when the night-wai invited her to the West Lake.
I remember someone said that Hangzhou is the most suitable city in love. Night in the West Lake on the stone bench, they like a pair of long met the good old friend, opened their hearts. People always like to talk to people who are not familiar with their own past, because the chat End on End, will not go deep into each other’s social circles. Night, in the faint Hexiang, two earned dripping love to talk, often have a tacit agreement with one voice. Chat over, but feel that they have won the feelings of lead have been re-ignited.
The next day is boiling. The two day at least 3 phone, the most frantic time-wei come to Shanghai four times a week. However, this did not state how long the boiling point, one inscribed as “wives” of the yuan fell to message so that the freezing point. The questioning in the Yuan, Wei was initially hesitant to say that marriage is ordered by their parents, and his wife is already a “right hand and left hand,” not a feeling that he is really like-yuan, had faced up to and his wife separated, did not tell the yuan is for fear of losing her. Love yuan to maintain a rare calm: “Please have ‘qualified’ talk about feelings, hide the truth itself is the lack of respect for me, but also talk about what love?”
The next few years, Yuan was enthusiastic urged people to begin the long road each. Watch her, she is always far more than the watch. To this end in the field, the mother of costume jewelry white head: marriage is to live them, what love, in the end are the family, a woman the most important thing is to find a desire for honest husband;individual students they will not hesitate to privacy from his own experience: to find a home there money, find a home away from love, and must find a sense of the marriage only silly, the woman is the most precious youth, ah can not afford to consume.
At present, there are so-yuan around a “blind loyalty”, was a few years ago, when love each other friends, not eager to reveal what Yuan, always waiting at a critical time in her side, with their minds and actions. TEE-yuan has not moved up, they can work together and even cooked to Apply mask lying on a sofa made to do the face, but further, but missed.
Love Is a few bends before it is prepared to Po, the yuan a little bit at a loss has not changed his mind.
And I say goodbye, she said she would patiently wait for the Super only for life, not his own feelings of being wronged.
Posted by hao at 10:47:43 | Permalink | Comments Off